In the past two years, I have realized the importance of forgiveness. It is a critical step in healing yourself. For me it was probably the most difficult step. Luckily, I have had plenty of opportunities since to practice forgiveness and have become much better at it.

I have always considered myself someone that doesn’t hold a grudge. I came to realize, even though I had let it go on the surface, I was holding on to anger inside. All of the hurt and anger I kept buried was impacting my present day life. It showed up in my life as mistrust, intolerance, insecurity and fear.

First I worked on forgiving those that had hurt me in the past. In order to do that, I had to show compassion. I had to accept when these people hurt me, it wasn’t about me. They were fighting their own demons. Forgiving them, even the ones that never acknowledged the pain they caused, allowed me to open my heart and hope they too are able to overcome their struggles.

Next came the difficult task of forgiving myself. My journey of self awareness had opened my eyes to the lies I had been telling myself, my fears and my negative perception of myself. All of this awareness made me angry and disappointed in myself. I felt like I had wasted almost 40 years of my life.

Self compassion was something I had struggled with my whole life but it was a requirement for forgiveness. I needed to accept the fact that I made some bad life choices out of fear. I also had to feel gratitude for the lessons I learned from those mistakes and acknowledge the progress I had made.

Practicing forgiveness has changed my life. I now have a better perception of others and myself.