Five or six months ago I realized I needed to set some priorities and some goals. Even though I was becoming more mindful, I was struggling with focus. Determining, documenting and concentrating on these goals created a shift. That shift included a drop in stress.

goalsIf you do this, it’s important to regularly reevaluate your goals. It’s ok to make a change. We change. Our needs and dreams change. With that said, if you realize you are re-writing your goals monthly, take a look at how you are determining your goal. Is it truly what you want or is it just what you think is expected of you?

In the last couple of days I have realized I need to make some adjustments to my goals. One of my goals is to own a home in 2018. Over time I was surprised to see that goal, for me, was more about what other people expected of me. Realistically, renting makes sense for me. A divorced, working mom of two children.

Amazingly as I recognized this goal wasn’t truly for me, the goal I should have became glaringly obvious. So did the reason I avoided it, but I’ll get into that shortly.

As some of you know, my mantra is “Set yourself up for success.” It dawned on me I was setting myself up to fail in one of my top two priorities. My son, at 9 years old, is still learning to walk and needs help with all of his basic needs from eating to getting dressed. I’ve made great strides setting myself up to be successful in handling the mental and emotional stress that comes with being the mom of a child with developmental delays and autism.

On the other hand, there is a lot of physical support needed to care for my son. Lifting him, sometimes carrying him, loading and unloading all of his equipment. On the weekends the kids are with me, my back is killing me by Sunday. I KNOW this is an issue. What have I done about it?…. nothing. I am setting myself up to fail at being able to support my son as he gets bigger. I don’t have the strength and I’m doing nothing to acquire it.

It seems so obvious. Why on earth would I avoid something so necessary? Simply put… fear. I need to gain muscle and lose weight. Making those lifestyle changes is hard. I’m scared I will fail. And failing doesn’t just mean I’ll still be the same pants size. It means I’m failing myself and my son. The easiest way to not fail is to not attempt and ignore the issue.

Failure can’t be an option. Whoa, seeing that statement and feeling the weight of it scares me a little. Over this past year I have realized I’m tougher than I thought I was. I can do this. I will keep you all posted.