I’ve briefly touched on the issues with online dating. In previous posts I’ve mentioned the struggles of dating at my age. For those that missed it, here are a few highlights.
- We all have baggage. All of us. Whether that is from divorce, loss, families, our jobs, etc.
- Most of us are broke. We are paying for divorces, child support, starting over…
- None of us have time. Between jobs, kids and the usual adulting duties, there isn’t much time left to date.
- Most of us are very lonely.
My particular situation is even a little more complicated than that. Add in the fact that I have two small children, a child with disabilities and the fact that I will not accept anything less than a true partner and the pool of potential matches is decreased immensely. Not many men would be willing to take all of that on.
Given all of that, how do I stay hopeful that I will find love someday? Especially given my track record with finding love isn’t so great. This is tough. I’m still figuring this one out. Some days are better than others.
I’m worried that when/if that right person comes along, I won’t recognize them. Will I 1) assume the worst about them based on my own previous trauma or 2) fall for the guy that isn’t a true partner because I’m scared I will be alone forever? It’s so easy to get caught up in the fear and anxiety.
At this point, my only strategy to deal with this is to try to remain present. Continue to work on myself. Trust that if the right person comes along I will know. Trust that if they don’t, I will still be ok. It will not be the end of the world. Do I want to find love? True love? Absolutely!